Why do women love skincare so much? Is it because as little girls we watched our mothers, our grandmothers, our sisters digging into their jars, their lotions, their potions, looking over their shoulders at their reflections in their vanity mirrors? I can remember my mother’s face, lit up, washed in pale gold light from her Conair makeup mirror. I’d sit for hours at that mirror, knees tucked under my tush, perched atop a pillow. She’d leave the room in a cloud of Shalimar, heading out for the night with my father. I’d dig into those tubes and jars that promised a youthful complexion, a glow, they promised a whisper of my mother. Tiny, blond, unabashedly female.
It’s hot as f*ck outside.
Heatwaves are sweeping across NY, FL, CA and all over the south. My kids are home. There’s no real schedule. I’m the schlepper, the chef, a writer, a wife. I’m frazzled most days (just ask my assistant and my editor, and Bazz) AND I care about my skin…a silly amount. I’m no beauty blogger (I don’t consider myself a blogger at all actually) but I know a clean, tight pore when I see one, and Ina’s were as tiny as she was. I can hear her telling me that southern women protect their babies, their skin, and if they’re smart, they listen to their girlfriends (the ones who also place a high value on their skin, and are happy to share their favorites).
Here are mine. The ones I use every single day in the hottest of summer months.
Every. Single. Day. Religiously.
As we knock on the door of August sweating our asses off, I wish you cool thoughts, tall glasses of iced coffee, and a skincare regimen that is easy, breezy, glowy, and cool.
Megababe Bust Dust
Girls, let’s BEE real, boob sweat is not sexy. I learned about this product from listening to Heather McMahan. I asked her about it directly on the phone when she, on a whim, called me in the middle of recording a podcast. Heather knows heat. She’s southern after all. She’s also a straight shooter and doesn’t mess around when it comes to boob sweat. After all, yuck. She swears by it, swore by it to me, and I bought it right after we hung up. It came with me to Israel in August of 2019. I talk about it here (link Israel article). It smells like heaven but it also works. If I could have had each one of you reach into my bra for a feel as I rode on a camel through the Negev Desert, you’d believe me. But that would be weird, so you’re just gonna have to take my word for it.
Colorless Diamond Cocoon Toner
I have had the same bottle of this liquid gel cold miracle from heaven for more than a year. I use it every single day, sometimes twice a day, and yet that bottle keeps on pumping out this magic. It’s like the miracle of Chanukah but in skincare form. Ya know, that menorah that was only supposed to have enough oil for one night but lasted eight? This is the MaccaBEE of skin prep. I’m not a toner kinda gal. But this, my loves, is not your typical toner. It is the most hydrating product to happily happen upon my skin. I use it in the dead of winter, the hottest of heat in August and my skin sucks it up like Jule The Bee sucks down Veuve. It glides on, smells the way I think a mermaid should, and when I’m feeling really extra, I store it in my fridge for an even more refreshing, cooling touch…right next to the Veuve of course. It’s expensive ($75.00) but just look at this word problem…I’ll show my work! *wink wink*
Jule The Bee purchased 1 bottle of Colorless Diamond Cocoon Toner 15 months ago. She uses it daily, 2 pumps a day to be specific. If each month averages 30 days, how much would each pump cost, assuming the bottle is empty today?
15 months x 30 days = 450 days
450 days x 2 pumps = 900 pumps
$75/900 pumps = .08
8 cents. That’s 8-CENTS-A-PUMP!!!
Wander Glow Ahead Face Oil
Don’t be scared! As Americans we have been conditioned to be afraid of oils both in our food and in our skincare. I’m here to tell you to have that cold pressed olive oil drizzled on your salad and not to be afraid to slather your lovely cheekbones in a clean beauty facial oil. Wander Glow Ahead is life changing. It is my everyday go to. Smelling subtly and softly of rose, it is a light, dry oil that gives a subtle just-had-the-best-sex-of-your-life glow. Every single time I use this I get a DM asking me what I’m using on my skin. This is no secret. I’m in love with Wander Beauty.
La Vanilla Sport Deodorant
A fellow SoulCycle rider told me about this clean deodorant a few years ago. I’ve been hooked ever since. From the sweatiest of rides in that darkened studio (Gd I miss it) to a crowded black tie affair in an evening dress (don’t miss those) I have found the holy grail of natural non-toxic deodorants that actually works!!! The next time I see you at SoulCycle you’re more than welcome to smell me after 😉
Elemis Pro Collagen Rose Hydromist
I am a massive Elemis fan. The ones I love, I love hard. I use 3 of their products on a steady rotation, this is one of my favorites. It comes with me to the pool, I keep it in a cooler on ice at the beach, it is an instant skin refresher, relaxes the senses and is like a trip to a spa with every spritz. Ahhhhhhh
This thing is everything. I’ve talked about it for years, have real life girlfriends hooked and new Instagram pals writing love letters to me for introducing this cheap icy thrill to their skin. I use it every single morning standing in the light of my freezer or leaning against my kitchen counter while plotting my day. After a night of too much wine or a good hard Covid cry, it’s hands down the best instant depuffer I know. Instantly my skin is calm, tight and cooled. Easy to clean, I bring it to the pool or beach in a cooler on ice and store in the freezer in a small ziploc bag, handle out, roller down and covered after an easy BEEasy clean in the kitchen sink.
L’Oréal Frizz Shampoo & Conditioner
Remember I told you to listen to your girlfriends? My girlfriend Sandra told me about L’Oréal’s Frizz Shampoo and Conditioner about two years ago. Sandra doesn’t give bad recs. And neither do I! When you have baby fine naturally wavy hair like I do there’s a fine line between beachy-sexy-waves and frizzy-all-gone-wrong. This ensures the right summer vibe for your hair. I literally wash, condition, wrap in a towel, shake and keep it moving. For the rare night when I attempt to blow out my hair, it basically does the work for me. Always a good thing when you’re a busy little bee like me!
Rita Hazan Shine Balm
She colors the tresses of Madonna, J Lo, Jessica Simpson and me, The Bee! No one knows hair color quite like Rita Hazan. I’ve sat in her chair now for 17 years and this jar of deliciousness is sitting next to me right now as I type. Every once in a while I open her signature teal blue jar with gold writing (those brilliant colors, a nod to her Egyptian heritage I’m pretty sure) and I breathe it in deeply. If it weren’t such a good product I’d still be smelling it but the perfection of the product plus the intoxicating smell is like hitting the anti frizz hair care lottery. It’s heaven. It’s light. And it takes frizzies to fabulous with a tiny swipe of that balm. If only she would make a candle that smells exactly like it!
This is the least sexy product that I own. Approximately $7.00 per solid snow white bar, with zero dollars of marketing invested, meet the Nana of cleansers. If I had to choose one cleanser to use for the rest of eternity this would be it. The gentlest of cleansers that takes EVERYTHING off. Every single stitch of makeup after a night out will disappear without stripping your skin or making you feel like you have to reach for a bottle of moisturizer immediately. Nana would be pleased. I promise your skin will be too.
Wander Beauty BRB Multipolish
You know those coveted squeaky clean tight small pores I mentioned? They are made here. A tiny drop refines, polishes and exfoliates and leaves your skin as smooth as a newborn’s tush. Who doesn’t love the feel of a newborn’s tushie?!?!
After a day of sunscreen and shvitzing, this is everything. It’s even better in a shower, when your pores are open and ready to BEEhave from the hot steam. Follow it up with a cold rinse a la The Skinny Confidential and you’re ready to conquer the world. Or at least your skin is.
Stay cool cuties, part two is coming and it promises to be prettier!
Have a question for Jule? Dating getting you down? Friendship in a frenzy? Mother-in-law making you mashugana ?? Nothing is off-limits. Everything is anonymous! Ask The Bee HERE!
All illustrations by @courtneycoloring
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